i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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