Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
