there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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