im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
