Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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