you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
