but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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