Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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