at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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