he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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