He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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