his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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