we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
