try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
