i would punch a child for taco bell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
