good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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