thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
