Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
