If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize