So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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