He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
