we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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