Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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