Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
