I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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