i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
