Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize