At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
