Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
