I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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