just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
