one two three fourrrrnication!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
