quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
