sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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