yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
