Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just gargled with NyQuil
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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