drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
