I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
