You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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