Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
