But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
