It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
