Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
