So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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