I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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