I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
