Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
