apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize