Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
