physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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