I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
