good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
