I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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