I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
