Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
