I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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