Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize