You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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