a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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