its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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