She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
