somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
