You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
