Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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