You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
