based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
