Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
