11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
