What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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