I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
