dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize